Mastering the life Balancing act

Have you ever seen Dervish whirl? Take a look at this brief video from Cairo and see for yourself. Believe it or not, the man in the middle spun on stage for almost thirty minutes. People became dizzy just watching him!

The dervishes actually come from the mystical Sufi mystical sect of Islam. When they whirl, they re-enact a turning towards the truth, during which the follower symbolically grows through love, deserts his ego, finds the truth and arrives at the "Perfect".

The dervish also provides a wonderful metaphor for balance. We all feel that sometimes we are spinning out of control. Yet the Dervish somehow maintains calm at the center, balanced. He does this by concentrating inwardly, on his own core, rather than the crazy world around him.

At the same time, the spinning itself provides a pathway to God. In this sense, we need to realize that spinning is part of life. We cannot stop the spinning. To stop spinning would be to stop life. And it is through life that we learn to embrace God.

The next time you feel like life is spinning out of control, picture the whirling Dervish. Spinning is the way the Dervish arrives at the "Perfect." And, by remaining calm at the center, he is able to let the perfect into his heart, mind and soul - without getting dizzy!

Imagine Moses. He has freed his people from slavery only to wander 40 years in the desert. He has quelled his disgruntled followers with manna from heaven and brought order from chaos with the Ten Commandments. But he dies before he can lead his people down from Mt. Nebo into the promised land. In the end, did he feel like a failure?

It's important to note that the ascent of Mt. Nebo is very gradual. We drove from Amman south to Mt. Nebo on a very gradual slope that seemed almost flat. As we travelled, it almost seemed like we weren't making much headway. It was only when we reached the monument to Moses at the top of Mt. Nebo and looked over the edge, did we realize how far we had come.

Granted, it helps that we were looking down at the Dead Sea, which is below sea level and one of the lowest places on earth. Nevertheless, the trip and the view at the end reminded me of our own journey through life.

As we travel through life, we forget to notice how far we have come, or how high we've climbed. We place almost impossible goals before ourselves without realizing how much we have already achieved. And this warped definition of our own journey, and how we measure our progress, can throw us out of balance. It can lead to feelings of failure.

So try a quick exercise. On a piece of paper, write two goals for the week. Write two more for the month. And write two more for the year. Make the goals realistic, achievable and NOT NEGATIVE, like losing weight, but something POSITIVE, like eating healthy or doing something nice for a friend. Put your goals in a safe place and review them at each designated time. Then, in all likelihood, give yourself a pat on the back. You've come farther than you thought you could.

In the story in the Bible, we hear how Moses was allowed to look into the Promised Land, but was not allowed to enter. My only hope is that, before Moses died, he was able to take a look back as well - and see just how far he had come.

We are happy to share another fantastic video in the Freedom from Fear series. These are a series of sermons by Rene Schlaepfer, who is the pastor of a large community church in Santa Cruz, CA called Twin Lakes Church. In our first edition, we shared a funny and wise video that begins with a Blair Witch Project insert. In this video, we share Escaping the Trap of Fear

Here, we gain a clearer understanding of the many ways that fear can throw us off balance, including ways that will be completely surprising to many people. Since fear can have such an enormous impact on our sense of life balance, we hope that you will visit this link and enjoy this powerful message.

On May 8, Pope Benedict XVI is traveling to the Middle East for a tour of the Holy Land. During his trip, he will visit Jordan - where I am now - Israel and the Palestinian territories. The whole region is gearing up for this trip. Why? Because it represents an important opportunity to promote religious balance and tolerance in the region. Everyone knows we could use more of both in this part of the world.

There is a direct relationship between tolerance and balance. While it is important to hold to our principles, intolerance pushes us to extremes. We lose sight of the humanity in others, and in ourselves. As the Pope has said, "True tolerance always presupposes respect for the other, who was created by God, whose existence was wanted by God."

Clearly, just as we are all children of God, so must we show respect and tolerance for all of God's children. And as we show tolerance of others, so might we begin to show more tolerance of ourselves, and of our own failings. And this, I believe, lies at the heart of life balance.

George Washington Carver sums up this connection, between our own life path and our tolerance of others. "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."

In the end, it is a virtuous circle. We tolerate others, they tolerate us and, in so doing, we learn to tolerate and accept ourselves for who we are. It is the beauty of faith balance.

According to the Old Testament, God allowed Moses to climb Mt. Nebo to see the promised land after wandering for forty years in the dessert. However, before Moses could realize the final objective of decades of work, he died. I always thought this was profoundly unfair.

Fortunately, while working in Jordan recently, I was able to see for myself. I traveled with several colleagues to see the beautiful view from Mt. Nebo. One can only imagine the simultaneous pride and disappointment Moses must have felt - to have led his people so far, but to have been unable to share in their great glory. Which leads to Lesson #1.

1. We do not always realize our own dreams. Yet we can focus on realizing our journey.

I would bet that if Moses had to choose between realizing his journey or his dream - between leading his people to freedom or entering the promised land - he would choose the journey every time.

The next lesson will be offered up in a blog next week. Hint: it's about getting to the mountain.

Fear can throw us completely off balance. In times of trouble, such as the global economic crisis, fear of the future can send us into depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior. We are pleased to share a series of outstanding videos on how we can use our faith to face and ultimately overcome our fears.

Free From Fear - Deep Faith for Dark Valleys

This video opens with a hilarious clip that mimics the Blair Witch Project. The following discussion, however, is truly profound. This link will take you to a discussion page on the video. We will share other videos in the future on how to use faith to balance our fears.

Pope Benedict XVI will visit the Holy Land, En'shallah - which is Arabic for "God willing." Yes, God willing, the Pope will visit the epicenter of three of the world's great religions. Having worked in the Middle East recently, I see this visit from a unique perspective.

The visit, which is planned from May 8 to 15, is the first papal trip to the area since 2000 and only the second official trip by a pope to Israel. And, having been in Jordan and Egypt recently, I see this visit not as a voyage to some far off land, but as a return to a very holy place that is also full of intense conflict.

In some respects, this is a land that is out of balance with itself. A place of great history and potential. A seat of holiness for much of the world. Yet it is divided by internal hatred. An inability to forgive past grievances. An absence of the love and compassion that God has placed in our hearts.

The land may also mirror our own lives when they are out of balance. We have great potential as children of God. But sometimes our own pettiness prevents us from realizing that potential. Our own inability to forgive others, and ourselves, can be an obstacle to life balance. If we stretch this analogy a little farther, the results become clearer.

As with the Holy Land, we must address our inner conflicts head on if we are to find peace. If we listen to God's call to love our neighbors as ourselves, we must first learn to love ourselves. For love - of God and self - is the fulcrum upon which life balance must rest.

So, what will the Pope say during his trip? As the seat of inspiration and culture for the early Jews, Christians and Muslims, the Holy Land is a source of great blessing and turmoil. Much of this is due to misunderstanding between cultures and mutually inflicted suffering throughout the ages. While we cannot change history, we can promote better understanding.

Will the Pope try to heal past wounds? Highlight the shared call for peace and care for the needy that is at the heart of these religions? I wonder what each one of us might say if we could be Pope for a day? If we could stand at the pulpit for thirty minutes, before a crowd of thousands in the Holy Land, and speak from our heart. What would our message be? Would we clarify our unique positions? Emphasize the unity in our love of God? Offer reconciliation of past grievances?

Now let's turn these pronouncements toward ourselves and our relationship with others. If we were to issue a decree about our own state of mind, and of heart, and of soul, what would we say? Is there a need for forgiveness? Is there a need to overlook past differences or conflicts with others? Are we so focused on our own position that we fail to see the wisdom in other people, and their unique perspective? Balance, in many respects, comes from perspective. The Holy Land, it seems, could use more of both. So can we.

We invite you to share your perspective about the Pope's visit and about the challenges of finding balance and reconciliation within our personal landscape.

In a previous blog entry, I wrote about the Strengthfinder profile that is available through the book Living Your Strengths, a book originally written by Don Clifton. I found that my top strengths from the assessment were: Futuristic, Relator, Significance, Arranger and Connectedness.

The assessment told me that my top personal strength area is "Futuristic" (according to the book interpretation, this is the kind of person who "loves to look over the horizon". Yep, that's me.

While I wish that I could always live in the present, but I tend to enjoy predicting what is going to come and I love planning for it. (That's probably one reason why being a venture capitalist and angel investor for so many years fit my talents).

Admire the "Present" people

I've always admired people who live in the PRESENT - those that seem content as it is, who are not dreaming so much about the future, but enjoying what life has to bring in the current moment (my wife is one of those who is strong in this gift). But I find that often I have conflict in my mind: I'd like to be more balanced : both coming up with good plans for the future AND enjoying the present moment.

One of my daughters clearly has the same issues, and likes to feel in control of the present. I recall when she was younger, she once asked why she has to study so hard for school tests...what's the point, she asked, of doing well in classes in order to get good grades, in order to get into a good college, in order to do well in classes, in order to...(well you know the rest of the progression if you're an adult - it never seems to end).

I think my daughter's point is that people need her in the present moment: friends, family, loved ones - and each moment spent on something to "build the future" detracts from the PRESENT.

The Grass Always Seems to be Greener

Growing up as a young man from a divorced family, and as only child, I developed a terrible disease that I like to refer to as "grass is greener" syndrome. A person afflicted with this dreaded disease never quite seems to be happy with their present situation. They are always wondering about "pruning the tree" - if they prune opportunities off, and go with just one, they might have cut off key opportunities that might lead to much prosperity, happiness in the future. Yet, this person is not happy because they are always looking to the future in hope.

Stop and Smell the Roses

So, what role does Faith plays a big role in assisting us in balancing out present in future? When we spend time in prayer, or meditation, being thankful for what God and Life have given us, it tends to anchor us more to the present. Maybe listening to God's voice helps us to simply stop and smell the roses more often?

When we talk with God, it also helps us to determine what is truly important to us - which often we find is those around us - our relationships, our health, our present being. So, God can help to anchor us to the Present. The Lord helps us to realize what is truly important ...and that will help us to decide between the present and the future options. God teaches us to learn about our "core" and who we really are. He can teach us what are our unique talents, gifts and strengths - and them participate in the present and the future with a knowledge that we are making informed choices about what things will ultimately bring us happiness. And, when we ask God for guidance, and really listen to what He is telling us, we can go forwrad with our future plans knowing that "God will provide".

There really is no "wrong" choice. Life is a series of choices and what matters is how we feel about the process, not the outcome.

I am writing this latest blog, in our series on what we can learn from the world's great religions, from the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. Yesterday, I saw one of the most unique images in my life: Palestinian musicians playing a British tune on Scottish bagpipes in an ancient Roman amphitheater in the center of the Arab world. And then, from overhead, a military transport helicopter flew low over the amphitheater to land nearby to drop off relatives of the royal family.



What an incredible world we live in.

We were touring the ancient Roman ruins of Jerash, which are truly spectacular. We wondered among temples dedicated to Zeus and Dionysus, visited several churches from the 5th and 6th century A.D. and heard regular calls to prayer from various mosques throughout the city - all within a stone's throw of each other. As we journeyed, I was struck by two things.

First, the passing of times, and kingdoms, and civilizations is inevitable. Only the abiding presence of God is constant.

Second, the world has always been, and always will be, a dynamic place. Cultures and religions have always bumped up against each other, and they will continue to do so. Sometimes those bumps have resulted in wars or other acts of violence. Sometimes, they manifest themselves - almost unconsciously - in the music of Palestinian musicians on Scottish bagpipes.

What does this mean to the question of faith and life balance?

God works through us, throughout the ages, in many and mysterious ways. He forces us together, into relationship, so that we make see the full truth of God's grace. If we can be open to these relationships, to see God's grace within them, we may well find a greater understanding of faith within ourselves. And with that understanding, of God's presence in all of us - regardless of our culture differences - may come the balance that we all seek in the world.

This past week the Christian season of "Lent" began. This the 40 days leading up to the death and rebirth of Jesus Christ. It is a time that many in the Christian faith choose something that they will give up for 40 days in remembrance that Jesus gave His life for us.

The idea of fasting is usually a part of Lent, which has its roots in the Jewish religion. The ancient Jews fasted during times of mourning, as a sign of repentance, as preparation for an encounter with God, and as a companion to prayer. There are many forms of fasting that one can choose from:

• -Fasting from food or drink
• -Fasting from words (i.e. words of criticism or negativity)
• -Fasting from set behaviors (i.e. bad habits)

The most interesting "fast" I can think of is fasting from time spent on something. This is where there is an opportunity to examine where one's time is being spent in an undisciplined or unbalanced way, and use these 40 days as a testimony to the power of re-prioritizing one's time.

For example, by watching less television and instead taking part of that time to sit down with our children or our spouse, or by spending less time on email/internet and re-focusing that time during the 40 days to reading , discussing, or relating to others.

I personally like this last interpretation of "fasting" the most of all - after all, time is our most precious commodity in our lives - it is the thing that , more than anything else, tends to get us out of balance, it is the thing that neglected family or loved ones wish they could get more of from us.

Perhaps this is an opportunity to bring time back into balance and experience what a gift it can be when thoughtfully balanced in the things that are most dear to us. Many people approach Lent as a somber time of giving up something we love. Why not use it as a time for regaining balance gaining something we've lost, such as precious time with others?