Have you ever seen Dervish whirl? Take a look at this brief video from Cairo and see for yourself. Believe it or not, the man in the middle spun on stage for almost thirty minutes. People became dizzy just watching him!

The dervishes actually come from the mystical Sufi mystical sect of Islam. When they whirl, they re-enact a turning towards the truth, during which the follower symbolically grows through love, deserts his ego, finds the truth and arrives at the "Perfect".

The dervish also provides a wonderful metaphor for balance. We all feel that sometimes we are spinning out of control. Yet the Dervish somehow maintains calm at the center, balanced. He does this by concentrating inwardly, on his own core, rather than the crazy world around him.

At the same time, the spinning itself provides a pathway to God. In this sense, we need to realize that spinning is part of life. We cannot stop the spinning. To stop spinning would be to stop life. And it is through life that we learn to embrace God.

The next time you feel like life is spinning out of control, picture the whirling Dervish. Spinning is the way the Dervish arrives at the "Perfect." And, by remaining calm at the center, he is able to let the perfect into his heart, mind and soul - without getting dizzy!

Imagine Moses. He has freed his people from slavery only to wander 40 years in the desert. He has quelled his disgruntled followers with manna from heaven and brought order from chaos with the Ten Commandments. But he dies before he can lead his people down from Mt. Nebo into the promised land. In the end, did he feel like a failure?

It's important to note that the ascent of Mt. Nebo is very gradual. We drove from Amman south to Mt. Nebo on a very gradual slope that seemed almost flat. As we travelled, it almost seemed like we weren't making much headway. It was only when we reached the monument to Moses at the top of Mt. Nebo and looked over the edge, did we realize how far we had come.

Granted, it helps that we were looking down at the Dead Sea, which is below sea level and one of the lowest places on earth. Nevertheless, the trip and the view at the end reminded me of our own journey through life.

As we travel through life, we forget to notice how far we have come, or how high we've climbed. We place almost impossible goals before ourselves without realizing how much we have already achieved. And this warped definition of our own journey, and how we measure our progress, can throw us out of balance. It can lead to feelings of failure.

So try a quick exercise. On a piece of paper, write two goals for the week. Write two more for the month. And write two more for the year. Make the goals realistic, achievable and NOT NEGATIVE, like losing weight, but something POSITIVE, like eating healthy or doing something nice for a friend. Put your goals in a safe place and review them at each designated time. Then, in all likelihood, give yourself a pat on the back. You've come farther than you thought you could.

In the story in the Bible, we hear how Moses was allowed to look into the Promised Land, but was not allowed to enter. My only hope is that, before Moses died, he was able to take a look back as well - and see just how far he had come.

On May 8, Pope Benedict XVI is traveling to the Middle East for a tour of the Holy Land. During his trip, he will visit Jordan - where I am now - Israel and the Palestinian territories. The whole region is gearing up for this trip. Why? Because it represents an important opportunity to promote religious balance and tolerance in the region. Everyone knows we could use more of both in this part of the world.

There is a direct relationship between tolerance and balance. While it is important to hold to our principles, intolerance pushes us to extremes. We lose sight of the humanity in others, and in ourselves. As the Pope has said, "True tolerance always presupposes respect for the other, who was created by God, whose existence was wanted by God."

Clearly, just as we are all children of God, so must we show respect and tolerance for all of God's children. And as we show tolerance of others, so might we begin to show more tolerance of ourselves, and of our own failings. And this, I believe, lies at the heart of life balance.

George Washington Carver sums up this connection, between our own life path and our tolerance of others. "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."

In the end, it is a virtuous circle. We tolerate others, they tolerate us and, in so doing, we learn to tolerate and accept ourselves for who we are. It is the beauty of faith balance.

Introducing Sir Richard Burton

On a trip this year to teach at the University of Edinburgh, I was introduced to Sir Richard Burton. Not the Richard Burton of Hollywood fame, but the perhaps an even more intriguing Richard - Richard Burton who is the CEO of HoodEasy.com, a fast-growing start-up in the online retail space.

Of course, meeting an entrepreneur who is ramping to millions of dollars in profit, and creating a global business is nothing new - but meeting an entrepreneur who is a Sophomore in college and ramping up something this significant is something completely different.

Richard's story is captured nicely in this video snippet...

The dilemma of the college entrepreneur

Perhaps you can feel Richard's pain - he is a very intelligent young man who would likely do well in school, just resting on his cognitive abilities, but Richard has another problem. Every waking moment of his day, he is faced with the reality that at a start-up the work is NEVER done. Quite impossible therefore to every feel complete. Add on top of that a healthy does of homework, classes, paper and reading and you have the recipe for IMBALANCE.

How to balance college life and work life

From my experience in teaching thousands of students and working with hundreds of entrepreneurs in the past year, there are several ways to bring work & life into balance in the college environment:

1) Set reasonable goals: Is it reasonable to graduate magna cum laude AND grow a start-up company to $10 million in revenues at the same time. Probably not. So, take a look at which priorities are more important (money or degree) and accept the fact that doing 2 or more "big ideas" at once may not be workable. In Richard's case, he has several options - he can postpone/defer school for 2 years, he can shift to a more manageable school (community college for example) where less time/energy is needed to pass, or he can hire a CEO to run his company and keep equity in his company as the founder.
2) Learn how to delegate - if you have a business that is doing well, and you happen to be in college at the same time, then use the profits coming in from the business to delegate key workings of the business to a staff. Then use YOUR available time to managing the process. In Richard's case, he can hire a seasoned worker to execute on his plans, or he can hire a CEO (by giving away equity) to run the company.
3) Run the company for school credit - believe it or not, I've run into several students over the years who managed to find a school and specific classes where they got school credit for analyzing, strategizing, and executing on plans that directly benefited their company. Richard, for example, might use his Marketing Course to work on a paper outlining the benefits of SEO, SEM and social media marketing campaigns for e-commerce sites - at the same time directly benefiting his company. A related idea is to enter the company into a university business plan contest. Of course, students in an MBA-like environment would be in the best position to try this advice out.
4) Leverage other students - It is possible to get interns to help with some of the tasks of the company at no/low wages. Where possible, create programs that reward the students, give them valuable work experience and make their college life more "practical". Richard, for example, might train several U Edinburgh MBA/PHd students to relieve his day-to-day tasks by taking on small management roles, analyzing the business, or helping with administrative tasks.

Many would argue that there really is no way to balance entrepreneurship and college at the same time. When a truly great idea comes along, you do as Jerry Yang/Dave Filo of Yahoo, or Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook did - you leave college to focus on the singular thing of your passion. Steve Jobs, perhaps one of the most famous entrepreneurs exemplifies this - Steve has a reputation for building Apple Computer on his obsession for focus, details, and work - for many years at the exclusion of friends, family and hobbies.

You decide - option for balance, or need for focus?

When I worked in India for a year, our office manager suggested we have an office puja. The program that I managed was going through a difficult time and our local staff believed that a puja, or prayer and blessing, for the office would help. I was skeptical, but wanted to be supportive. So a few days later, I found myself sitting on the floor with a Hindu priest and our entire office staff.

The priest conducted an elaborate ceremony around a small pot with burning incense. He added bits of fruit, yogurt and other items around a small pot of burning incense.  Ocassionally, we were invited to add fruits and to recite calls for health and success as the priest chanted a lengthy prayer.

I don't know whether the ceremony made a difference, though our program did improve through the rest of the year. But I was struck by the great power of integrating prayer with work.

In India, religion seems to permeate every aspect of life. So it is not surprising to see faith in the office. During times of stress, I would see staff invoke their faith to remain calm, to ask for divine intervention, or to seek solace. In all cases, faith brought spiritual balance to an intense work environment.

Just as important, we had fun!  The prayer service created a sense of community that we desperately needed at the time.  We joined together in faith and forged a common bond that helped us through tough times.  And that common bond dramatically improved office morale and productivity.  We were no longer working just for ourselves, but for something higher.

Sometimes I think every office could use a puja.  Admittedly, that prospect is not likely in the U.S.  But we can incorporate prayer into our work life.  As one example, a friend started praying at work and now steps outside for a few minutes each day with colleagues to pray for guidance and wisdom.  This prayer has helped forge closer relationships with friends at work and with God - and, in these stressful economic times, we could all use more of both.

In a previous blog entry, I wrote about the Strengthfinder profile that is available through the book Living Your Strengths, a book originally written by Don Clifton. I found that my top strengths from the assessment were: Futuristic, Relator, Significance, Arranger and Connectedness.

The assessment told me that my top personal strength area is "Futuristic" (according to the book interpretation, this is the kind of person who "loves to look over the horizon". Yep, that's me.

While I wish that I could always live in the present, but I tend to enjoy predicting what is going to come and I love planning for it. (That's probably one reason why being a venture capitalist and angel investor for so many years fit my talents).

Admire the "Present" people

I've always admired people who live in the PRESENT - those that seem content as it is, who are not dreaming so much about the future, but enjoying what life has to bring in the current moment (my wife is one of those who is strong in this gift). But I find that often I have conflict in my mind: I'd like to be more balanced : both coming up with good plans for the future AND enjoying the present moment.

One of my daughters clearly has the same issues, and likes to feel in control of the present. I recall when she was younger, she once asked why she has to study so hard for school tests...what's the point, she asked, of doing well in classes in order to get good grades, in order to get into a good college, in order to do well in classes, in order to...(well you know the rest of the progression if you're an adult - it never seems to end).

I think my daughter's point is that people need her in the present moment: friends, family, loved ones - and each moment spent on something to "build the future" detracts from the PRESENT.

The Grass Always Seems to be Greener

Growing up as a young man from a divorced family, and as only child, I developed a terrible disease that I like to refer to as "grass is greener" syndrome. A person afflicted with this dreaded disease never quite seems to be happy with their present situation. They are always wondering about "pruning the tree" - if they prune opportunities off, and go with just one, they might have cut off key opportunities that might lead to much prosperity, happiness in the future. Yet, this person is not happy because they are always looking to the future in hope.

Stop and Smell the Roses

So, what role does Faith plays a big role in assisting us in balancing out present in future? When we spend time in prayer, or meditation, being thankful for what God and Life have given us, it tends to anchor us more to the present. Maybe listening to God's voice helps us to simply stop and smell the roses more often?

When we talk with God, it also helps us to determine what is truly important to us - which often we find is those around us - our relationships, our health, our present being. So, God can help to anchor us to the Present. The Lord helps us to realize what is truly important ...and that will help us to decide between the present and the future options. God teaches us to learn about our "core" and who we really are. He can teach us what are our unique talents, gifts and strengths - and them participate in the present and the future with a knowledge that we are making informed choices about what things will ultimately bring us happiness. And, when we ask God for guidance, and really listen to what He is telling us, we can go forwrad with our future plans knowing that "God will provide".

There really is no "wrong" choice. Life is a series of choices and what matters is how we feel about the process, not the outcome.

I'm a member of the Pleasanton, CA Chamber of Commerce. I just came from a meeting there where all present agreed that businesses and business people are returning to "basics." They are trying to save their businesses in this difficult economy. I left that meeting wondering, "What are the 'basics'?" Many business "basics" revolve around customer service and relationships. This is what it comes down to: treat people well and they will remember you; when they need the service or product that you offer, they will do business with you.

As people of faith, we should be starting everything we do with this same concept, "treat people well." It's not just the business people who need to be reminded of the "basics." If we aren't careful, stress can weigh heavily on us and we can become grumpy with the very people in our lives that we care most about. Times are tough for many right now. I urge you to remember the basics in your life. The people you love are your most valuable asset. The relationships you have with close family and friends bring you happiness and even good health. Treat them well.

Yes, you are probably working hard these days to balance your financial books. Continue that hard work and balance your relationships too, with kindness. Your relationships are worth it.

As we respond in to the difficult economic times we are in, I hope we can remind ourselves of the basics. This is a way to balance our lives, our books and our faith.

written by: Amy Sluss, RN
Happiness, Health and Health Care Consultant
www.chartyourownhealth.com

This weekend, I addressed a group of parents at St. Augustine's parish in Oakland on the topic of family & life balance. The parents meet each week to share thoughts about raising children, balancing all that life has thrown their way, and finding ways to engage youth in exploring, understanding (and sticking with) their faith. The group raised many interesting issues such as: what rules to set with the family to ensure that youngsters and young adults actively participate in faith? When to enforce activities (such as church every Sunday) with youth? what to do if one of the parents is involved in their faith but the other is not? When to stop being pushy about faith and allow our youngsters to grow on their own and on their own volition? We all talked about our own faith formation as children and young adults and what turning points we found in our own lives.

How do our children find their own faith and ways to tackle life balance? There is no "one size fits all" answer to questions like this, but it reminded me of the "juggling act" of being a parent. Several have said that faith is "caught", not "taught". I personally believe it's a bit of both. Some parents do seem to lead by example - both good and bad examples. The Dad who doesn't go with the family to church because he values football or basketball games sets an example as much as the mother who teaches her how to pray before each meal. By modeling parents beliefs and behaviors, children may learn something about "religion" (good or bad), and sometimes even may learn about something bigger than themselves. At the same time, there likely comes an "inflection" point in each child's life where they reach their own decision about faith. Sometimes this is brought about by an event (death of someone close, for example) that challenges the individual's mortality or belief in a higher being. Sometimes it's by watching trusted friends who may gravitate toward or away from God. Even the presence of spirituality (for example simple prayers by parents during the day) or absence of it (no one ever discusses god or spirituality) will impact the child.

What, then, might be some ways to engage young ones in the development of faith? How do we get them to think about life balance at an early age. Five ideas come to mind from my experience: activities, socializing, media, family rituals and giving back/charity.

Youth groups, which are found in many churches and temples in the US are one great way for kids to engage with one another and perhaps find God in the process (or at least a reminder of God). Often there is a social element to this - for example, in the Bay area a church called Crosswinds (Dublin, CA), is well known for its summer "houseboat" trips that hundreds of youths participate in - and many a child has returned from these "social" events a changed being. Depending upon the child, music or artistic ministry can be a great way to engage youth with their spirituality.

With youth today, media has an influence - Internet sites, books, magazines and movies. Encouraging a youngster to talk about a movie (example Fireproof ,out this past summer) that has a life message, or talk about a book they've read (Stephen Covey's son has a series of books out on life priorities and balance, for example, that are popular with youngsters). Sometimes my children will (out of the blue?) ask me my thoughts on God, religion and faith. These are "moments of truth" for me. Am I prepared with a helpful answer. Do I use that moment to share or teach?

Many families have regular rituals - such as daily meals together prefaced with a prayer (in our family, each child takes turns leading the prayer and we rotate each time together), or prayer/song before bedtime, or weekly family visits with to church. At the Catholic Community of Pleasanton, several families took the lead in creating an entire ministry in which groups of 4-6 families meet on a regular basis at homes to enjoy each others' company, share Bible readings, undertake community projects together. This is cross family and inter-generational faith formation -- very powerful.

Teaching by example, with giving or charity is also a great reminder to children of where priorities lie. In my family, each daughter has had a chance to visit an impoverished country in which http://www.opportunity.org is making a local impact. When we do this in the context of generosity and faith, the children internalize it. Other families I know regularly take their children on mini-missions (building homes in Mexico, feeding the poor at soup kitchens, sharing blankets with the homeless).

Sure, kids may "wander" away from their faith as they grow older - but many eventually find their way back if they have been given a strong foundation. It is often not apparent to parents during "teen" years that anything they've attempted to set as grounding has been internalized...but speak to many parents once their children reach adulthood and you soon realize what a big impact we can have on our children...even when it appears we are not getting through.

We'd love to hear your thoughts and stories on this as well....